Day 2

Today I am thankful for Seasons.

I'm lucky enough to live somewhere that has all four seasons,

with some longer than others. (yes Winter, I'm talking to you)

I love all the blooming flowers in the springtime.

While I'm not a huge fan of all the gloomy rain, I love that it turns everything from brown to green!

Summer is by far my favorite season.

 It's the time to be outside camping, barbequing, swimming, bonfires,

and spending time outside with friends and family.

I love the hot weather!

Fall is a pretty season with the changing of colors

and feeling the nights getting cooler- finally relief from the sweltering summer nights!

Winter is by far my least favorite season.

My favorite winter was when I lived in Florida, and I wore shorts Christmas Day.

Still there's something magical about a white Christmas. 

If I still went snowboarding, I'm sure I'd feel different.

It seems like an endless season when I'm pretty sure I'll never be warm ever again.

I love how snow caps the mountains and gives everything a majestic feeling,

but in my opinion it can just stay on the grass and mountains.

If you've ever driven in snow, you understand my sentiment.

So there you go, I'm grateful for seasons.

Stay tuned for tomorrow!

Day 1

I am grateful for the most important person in my life, my husband Josh.

My life really wouldn't have been the same without him.

Before he came along I wanted to be a big shot career girl working

in an Embassy half-way across the world. I hadn't really
considered having kids, let alone giving up a career to be a mom.

These past couple weeks have made me seen my husband from a different perspective and I'm more in love with him now that when we got married 3 1/2 years ago.

We can laugh together, cry together, be absolutely weird together (without too much judgement).

He takes great care of me, which he completely proved when I was writhing in pain from my kidney stone and couldn't take care of myself very well. He's a great nurse!

He helped me get my priorities straight by falling in love with him.

I can't imagine my life any other way- it's funny how things change.

I no longer want to be a big shot career girl. While I still have ambitions and career aspirations, first and foremost I want to be a mom and a good wife.

Things haven't happened as I've wanted them to, especially struggling with infertility, but he's been there every step of the way to talk about things and letting me cry.

God willing, one day I will be a mom. That will be the biggest and most important career of my life.

Also, I'm grateful for your drive and hard work.

You have worked so hard these past couple years to get your schooling finished.

I'm thankful for your ambition and your dreams of what we both hope to acomplish one day.

So babe, thanks for giving me perspective. I don't know how my life would have turned out without you.

Thanks for taking me on fun dates, introducing me to great friends, and going on adventures to nowhere.

Love you lots and lots!

Being Grateful

I've reflected a lot these past couple weeks of how much I have to be grateful for.

I'm healthy (let's forget about that whole kidney stone fiasco in Vegas),

 I have an amazing husband who is my best friend,

I have a job that I love,

A family that is always there for me,

Great friends who let me talk,

And a faith that has gotten me through my darkest days.

While I still have struggles and can feel pretty low at times, 

I want to focus on the good this upcoming year.

So this blog is having another facelift.

I'm going to start a new year's resolution early

and try to name one thing each day that I am

GRATEFUL

for.

I have had days where I have felt depressed that my life isn't going the direction that I want it to go.

But, that's life isn't it? 

You can plan all you want,

 but Murphy's law and karma will always come into play and twist

 those outcomes to what was not expected- both good and bad.

There are days where I feel like there's a rain cloud looming over me and I can't see the sun

or the good in things.

So I'd like to try and name just ONE thing each day that I am grateful for.

I'm lucky enough to have a job where I deal with people 

who are by far, worse off than I hope I'll ever be.

They help me to realize that I have

MILLIONS 

of blessings in my life.

And it's time I started recognizing them.

Stay tuned.

Vials, Needles, and Syringes, Oh My!

Turns out I have a very stubborn body. 

8 cycles of Clomid and 3 cycles of Femara later, 
my body has still failed to ovulate. 

(For those who don't know those are fertility medications
 to induce ovulation.)

There is much frustration with a body that doesn't 
work how it should.

So the next step in all of our attempts for a baby is starting injections.

I know you're all jealous!

All my little vials

I had a lot of fear and trepidation starting these shots, 

especially since I was supposed to give them to myself!
But, it's stronger medication than anything I've taken before.

The sub-cutaneous needle- I'll take this shorter one any day over the longer one!

The intra-muscular needle- the one I used to fill the syringes. No thank you, I'm not going to stab myself with this one...at least not yet anyways.

The first shot was rather comical. 

This is me recreating my horrified face at sticking myself.

I sat at our table just staring at the needle thinking 'there's no way', 

then that line of thought going to 'you can do it, 
just stab yourself really fast..'

Josh sat at the couch and stared at me. 

He volunteered to give me the shot, but I told him no, because he wasn't going to be here all the days 

I had to take them, so I needed to be brave and just do it.

Ha ha, easier said than done my friends!

Since he so willingly volunteered, after a couple minutes of going back and forth between almost jabbing myself and putting the syringe down, 

I took him up on his offer.

It's so much easier to be given a shot then giving one to yourself.

I have a new found respect for diabetics who give themselves shots.

After all that hype, 

the shot wasn't anything but a pinch and some 
stinging as the meds were injected.

Once it was finished, I was resolved to give the next shot myself.
Josh was a really good shot giver. I'll take him as my nurse any day!

The next day, I'm proud to say I was able to do it!

I gave myself the shot!

I was so psyched out about it, and that was the worst part!

It wasn't bad at all, I think I might be over my fear of needles now.

Well, at least my fear of thin, short needles.

That longer needle might be another story if I have to stick myself with that!

But for now, I can handle the shorter needle.

Let's cross our fingers that this medication has worked. While I'm glad that I was able to give myself the shots, it's still not my favorite past time. I need a little glimmer of hope. If this can make me ovulate, I'll be jumping and shouting for joy.
While I don't want to be too optimistic that I'll get pregnant the first time I ovulate. I just want to know that some combination of drugs will make it possible.


Lets all cross our fingers and hold our breath!
I'll find out soon enough!

Summer!

Wow it's been a busy summer!

I wish I was better at remembering my camera, 

so here's a rundown of why I haven't been blogging!

1) Went on a trip to St George with our friends Heidi and Karl

2) Girls trip to Park City

3) Anniversary trip to Park City and dinner at the Melting Pot

4) Swimming with family

5) Watching summer blockbuster movies

6) Roasting marsh mellows and tin foil dinners in a campfire

7) Fireworks

8) Hanging out with friends

9) Two fertility treatments- both failed

10) Crafting- I'm getting pretty good at making skirts

11) Working

12) And, relaxing and trying to stay cool

I hope everyone else is having a good summer. 

It's been fun and busy, filled with highs and lows.

We 're still on the journey to having a baby, hopefully it'll happen soon.

Keep your fingers crossed!

It's craft time!

What have I been up to this past week?

I've caught the CRAFT BUG!

A couple weeks ago I attended a craft night, 

held by my sister's neighbor

Maria - go to her blog here.

Maria is a very crafty girl, 

just one look at her blog and you'll see that.

She comes up with a craft, then hold a craft night so all of the

creatively stumped people (I am one of those!)

 can have cute decor too.

Here was my project:

Wood blocks painted black, paper modpodged on, then vinyl lettering

I LOVE the bright colors!

With my next craft, here's a little history...

At work everyday I look at an array of blogs.

When things are slow or I need a break, I read blogs.

(Thank you google reader for keeping track of all of them!)

One blog I read is makeit-loveit.com

Recently I bought a skirt pattern from there.

I used to sew a lot but haven't since I was in high school because I didn't have a sewing machine.

Well, now I have one and I'm going crazy with projects!

Some have worked out, and some haven't (a brown yoga skirt...)

These two things I made today worked out, and I'm in love!

The Lily Skirt:

It is a knee length skirt with a smocked waistband. 

Have I mentioned I like bright colors?

 A close-up of the smocking

In the next picture, I had leftover fabric, so I made a little rose to put on a headband.

I can't remember what website I got the idea from, 

but it matches my skirt,

and I'm pretty dang excited to wear both of them!

Oh, and here's some roses my husband got me! 

It was a nice surprise after having

such a crappy week at work as I've had the last couple weeks.

So thanks babe! 

I'm lovin' my roses and they smell amazing!

Have a great week!

I'm crossing my fingers that my 3 days of work

will go by fast!

Come Thursday morning I'll be heading to St George!

Better late than never!

Sorry it's been so long! Life gets kinda hectic, you know?

This past month I was comforted to see 2 separate publications have articles on  infertility.

It makes me happy that the topic is getting out there and people are being informed.

In that respect I'm doing much better and am coping a lot easier.

I have faith for the future. I'll become a mom someday.

One thing I have learned is to not put my life on hold.

I am living my life to the fullest and having fun experiences 

while we wait.

Can I just say how much I love summer?

I LOVE SUMMER!!!!!!!

It's finally time to get outside! Maybe that means I'll start running 

again since I signed up to run in this race:

It is a 10k obstacle course race through mud. 

I'm not usually one to do things like this, 

but it should be fun!

Besides that there are vacations planned that I'm excited to go on!

Here's what I did a couple weeks ago.

Josh bought a shotgun so we just HAD to go shooting.

I must say, I used to be very intimidated by guns, but slowly I have gotten comfortable around them.

I still don't really like them, but I know how to use them if the need ever arose.

Enjoy the pictures! We went shooting at the Bountiful range.

 

Josh with the new shotgun

 Lovely day for shooting

 My husband humoring me by showing some leg ;)

 I'm shooting a youth sized shotgun here. So much less of a kick!

The women and our shotguns!